"Sometimes you need to scorch everything to the ground, and start over. After the burning the soil is richer, and new things can grow. People are like that, too. They start over. They find a way."
I finished this mini-series last night, honestly –it was beautiful.
It was based on the book by the same title, by Celeste Ng. The book has been on my TBR list like..forever.
Little Fires Everywhere touches on motherhood, also dealing with racism, choices and the worst: Teenagers. 5 mothers, different way of mothering.
Upon watching, as a mother, I couldn’t help but to question myself;
What type of mother would you be, Dids?
If anything, my mom was the Tiger-mom, always ready to fight, always ready to whip whenever it deemed necessary. Will I be the a Tiger mom? In my almost 3 short years of experience now, I slowly being one –but truthfully, haven’t morphed into completely –yet. Strongly suspect, I would be a complete one when my eldest turns a teenager.
My mother-in-law is kinder, softer in her approach. Her anger justified, lengthy words calculated. I couldn’t help but scoffed for a few times, if it were me in her shoes –I’d throw fit. Serious fit. Her patience awed me big time. Often I think, I could never, ever, be that calm.
Both me & my husband’s siblings turned out fine-ish, I guess. Both were brought up in quite a strict household so we’re a bunch of rule breakers with few whip marks, enough to tell our kids some fun stories one day.
I don’t think there is a perfect way to mother. If you smother them too much with no room to experience anything on their own–they might not be independent enough to face the world. I know this type, the ones who could not do anything, simplest thing with a need of just common sense, without calling mom.
If you let them roam free with as much as a reminder—they might be the bad apple. The fearless ones, without having even a modicum of awareness for consequence. I happened to know these ones too. They do anything they want and they get away with it.
I read somewhere, a mother constantly worry. From her child is in the womb till old enough to have grandkids, a mother will always worry. It's like their second nature after breathing. You could drop “Jangan risau, do not worry” but none of that would lessen the feeling.
A mother will always worry. Now a mother, I am living in that constant state too. If it’s not nature, I don’t know what is it.
And as a mother, I know now, that it is not fair to blame a mother solely if her children ever did something bad. No mother in a right mind would throw her offspring into danger, into bad things, purposely. There’s only so much struggle a mother could endure, from conceiving, giving birth, feeding, teaching, providing and the list goes on. I think motherhood is the most beautiful gift from God—having human(s) that would know nothing but love you unconditionally from the very first second of their lives but it’s also the most frightening thing handed to you on a platter ; you are now responsible of this human(s), may they be a good one and should you fail?
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